Peace Within. By: C.C.

"The parents of Saint Catherine of Siena tried by every means they could to put obstacles in regards to prayer and meditation in her way. Our Lord then inspired her to construct within her own heart a little interior "oratory" where she could mentally retire, even in the midst of exterior activity, and enjoy the solitude of her heart. Therefore, from that time on, she advised her spiritual sons and daughters to construct a small room in their own hearts and to dwell within it." (St. Francis DeSales)

There have been numerous Saints in the history of the Catholic Church who have shared their thoughts on the importance of interior life and the value of solitude as a means of attaining peace within our hearts. It is quite interesting to be writing about the idea of solace in solitude amidst a society that seems to promote and value noise and chaos as a means of truly `living`. One seems to be bombarded by the concept of constant company and perpetual activity in order to attain happiness and peace. In my opinion this does not at all add to ones happiness or peace, but rather aids in ones avoidance of self and will eventually lead to further brokenness. We must be alone to encounter our Lord. Many find the idea of prayer and meditation to be completely ridiculous. Potentially they may fear the power of the Lord in those moments, or they may ultimately fear the places within themselves that remain unvisited and unexplored. St. Catherine of Siena had parents that for whatever reason saw the threat of her quiet prayer and meditation, attempting by the use of distraction to take this peace away from her. How foolish to wrestle with the will of our Lord. St. Catherine took this resistance that faced her and further drew toward the Lord. In doing so we read about this ``interior oratory`` where she would retire and dwell, even amidst the most pressing of circumstances. Today, more than ever there seems to be an emptiness in so many people. There is a constant seeking for ``peace`` through means that are not at all inviting of a peaceful product. For those of us in faith we recognize this constant outward search for peace as an inward cry for our Lord. Our thirsting, our hunger, and our desire for peace can only be found in Him who is peace. In order to truly know this we can not fear the silence and solitude. We must not turn away from the importance of creating our ``interior oratory`` but, rather we must seek ways to build this place within our heart where we may encounter Him. A place where we can retire throughout our days and feel the warmth, love, and presence of God. A resting place, welcoming for our Lord to dwell. While on retreat, I came across this wonderful reflection written by an unknown 13th century monk. It is potentially one of the most comforting things that I have read. It is after reading this that I was truly able to understand the importance of the interior life, the reason for hardship, and the real presence of our Lord at all times. I find it particularly comforting that this unknown blessed monk speaks here to a woman. I pray that each of you find comfort through this. (C.C.)

`Reflection by an unknown 13th century monk`

"In me, in my most interior Jesus is present. All outside of our heart is only to discover the treasure hidden interiorly in the heart. There is found the sepulcher of Easter and there the new life. "Woman, why do you weep? Whom do you seek? Whom you seek you already possess and you do not know Him? You have the true, eternal joy and still you weep? It is more intimate to your being and still you seek it outside! You are there, outside, weeping near the tomb. Your heart is my tomb. And I am not there dead, but I repose there, living always. Your soul is my garden. You are right when you believed that I was the gardener. I am the New Adam. I work and supervise my paradise. Your tears, your love, your desire, all this is my work. You possess me at the most intimate level of your being, without knowing it and this is why you seek Me outside. It is outside also that I appeared to you and also that I make you to return to yourself, to make you find at the intimacy of your being, Him whom you seek outside."

Just a poem for today.....

Restful Heart. By: C.C.
My heart has found it's rest in You
no longer does it seek.
My soul has claimed You as my Lord,
of Your glory I will speak.
My eyes they long to see You in everyone I meet.
I have no fear of Satan now; for with You Lord,
his defeat.
Unworthy of Your mercy,
unworthy of Your hand.
You continuously console me
and lead me to understand.
I long to never offend You
or to forsake Your holy name.
My motivation for these days
is Your Eternal flame.

You Are Wonderful. By: C.C.

``Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering. `` (St. Augustine)

This quote from St. Augustine is one that has always grasped my attention. It is also one that came to mind while on retreat in Genesee NY. The idea of truly getting in touch with our inner most self is one that leaves many people uncomfortable. It is arguably this same fear of self- discovery that keeps many away from God, Church, and their faith altogether. Somehow we have established a fear of truly getting in touch with ourselves. We are scared of the silence, the past hurt, and ultimately the unknown that we may encounter. There is something which holds us back from venturing into the depths of our soul. In my opinion, this seems to be something very tragic and disheartening, and yet at the same time very natural. I too have battled with this very fear in the past. However, growing in my faith and walk with Jesus has truly allowed me to venture into depths of myself and discover things that I did not know existed. It often takes the hurt to heal, and exploration of self to find self. In this it is important to remember that we can not truly know ourselves until we seek Him who knows us best. We must surrender our fear to the Lord and find comfort in knowing that He longs for us to find joy, and that we are created by Him who wants us to become who were called to be. St. Catherine of Siena once said ``Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire``. I would like to suggest that in failing to become who we were meant to be and by repressing our truest self results in unimaginable misery. Perhaps this misery is not often felt all at once....but over time I can imagine it becoming something that causes a lot of unrest....Leaving us tirelessly seeking ``something``, when that which we seek is within us. One comes to recognize that the inner self is the most beautiful paradise. There is so much within to wonder at. Inside each of us there are the heights mountains, huge waves of the sea, and winding rivers. Today more than ever it is easy to hide behind the masks we put on to the world. The advancements in social media and technology allow us to create an identity that we want to believe ourselves. The bombardment of ridiculous status updates, photographs, and ``friend`` tallies has become our modern concept of someone`s identity. Potentially, some are comfortable living on this surface, having a false portrayal of identity controlled and calculated. The beauty of each of us rests upon our unique differences and not our manufactured sense of identity. It is time to truly get in touch with ourselves, to dive within and know our soul. We are so connected today in numerous ways and yet there is an abundance of disconnect. So advanced technologically, by means of communication, and through transportation..yet, somehow as St. Augustine says ``We pass by ourselves without wondering``. Lord tonight I pray that each of us can work beyond our fears and truly venture within ourselves to discover the beauty that is there. Help and guide us to recognize the things within that prevent this clarity. May we come to embrace the importance of reconciliation and see this Sacrament as a means of attaining purity of heart, mind, and soul. Lord forgive us for denying the people who You have called us to be. Help us work through the fears we have, the hurt that has occurred, and everything else that prevents us from being who we were meant to be. Holy Mother I ask that you continue to surround us with the warmth of Your motherly love and protection. Lord, may we someday find comfort and rest in knowing who we are through You. Amen. (C.C.)

"Yes, Lord" By: C.C.

"Mary said, 'You see before you the Lord's servant, let it happen to me as you have said.' And the angel left her." ( Luke 1:38)

This simple sentence of surrender represents one of the most important moments of our faith. There is no denying young Mary's complete faith, love, and devotion to God. How often we struggle within our own lives to offer up the most simple things in our hearts. Here, through Mary, we witness a complete self denial and desire to fulfill God's will. It is profound really when one reflects upon the immensity of what this verse truly means. Thousands of years later we can still cling to this moment as one of inspiration and as a lesson in faith. I would imagine that Our Lady, despite her faith still battled with emotions of fear and worry at this moment when the angel appeared to Her. However, much greater than these emotions was her Love and yearning to serve the Lord her God above all else. Somehow She knew that following the path God designed for her was the most important thing. Unaware of all that awaited She trusted Him, faithfully saying yes to whatever was to come. Whatever His will was for her life she gladly accepted. Lord, tonight I pray that like our Blessed Mother we are able to trust our lives to You. We know Lord that You search our hearts and know us...help and guide us so that we can always walk the path that leads us to a closer union with You and Your will for us. Help us move beyond our emotions of fear and anxiety, trusting that in saying Yes to You is the way to Eternal Life and true communion with You. I pray tonight for those who are fervently seeking Your will, those in confusion, and also for those that find it difficult to trust in You. May Blessed Mother continue to comfort us on our journey with You, and may we continue this Lenten season with a sacrificial and surrendering heart. Amen (C.C.)

His Glory. By: C.C.

"How can you believe, since you look to each other for glory and are not concerned with the glory that comes from the one God?" (John 5:44)

In reading today's Gospel I have felt compelled to share this verse from John in my reflection. How often do each of us along our journey of faith lose sight of He who is glory? We may find ourselves fervent in prayer, honoring Him above all, and then somehow giving into the expectations that have developed within us toward the external things in our lives. In doing this there may be a gradual pull away from our Lord. In failing to look toward Him for glory and recognizing that He is the source of all of our joy, love, and happiness, we begin to place unrealistic expectations on "things" and people in our lives. In our brokenness we seek affirmation from others. Seeking things in our surroundings that no human being or material item is capable of providing us. We have a need for much more than anyone we encounter can satisfy. As we turn to today's Gospel we can reflect upon our own faith. Let us acknowledge the times in which we have turned toward our brothers and sisters for glory instead of recognizing the true glory given by God alone. May we understand that it is through serving Him that we truly attain glory beyond measure. We must make the choice each day to live from faith and must honor the Lord through our actions and dealings with others. May we strive to live our lives with humility and a steadfast desire to please Him above all. Let us turn today toward our Lord and pray that everything we do will be pleasing to Him. Amen. (C.C.)

Home From Genesee. By: C.C.

" The truth is that we can find lasting satisfaction only in the service of that person who alone can fill the measure of our radical solitude, and who is accessible only in silence." (Abbot John Eudes Bamberger)

It is difficult for me to truly place my experience at Abbey of the Genesee into words. I have battled since returning home to truly formulate and internalize everything that occurred there. The thought of putting these experiences into words and somehow articulate what went on during my retreat is a task nearly impossible for me. However, in this I feel that there is also something wonderful and splendid. The intimate experience that I had and shared with the Lord is one that should rightfully surpass any vocabulary, feeling, and thought. This should be true of each of us as we turn to the Lord in prayer each day. These moments should be profoundly intimate and private for us. Through devotion, faith, and fervent prayer one can begin to know the joy that can only be found through Him who is the source of endless joy. We come to realize, as Abbot John Eudes Bamberger has written that only through our service to Him can we come to know "lasting satisfaction". In order to do this successfully we must surrender ourselves to silence and prayer. What I have learned over the course of my prayer life, and further during my retreat is the need to be fully open during my time with the Lord. The importance of mortifying all distraction, thought, and expectation in order to enter into the place where the Lord can truly speak to us. This yearning for His voice can cause slight frustration and potentially leave us in a sense of unrest as we demand "Lord, please speak to me I am open"..it is often during our frustration and expectation that we become blind and deaf to seeing and hearing from the Lord. We yearn for His voice and yet we also have the expectation of how we want to hear him. How silly of us to try and orchestrate the affairs of our Lord. How wonderful it is though when He breaks through our expectations and surprises us beyond what we could have ever imagined. Today surrender yourselves to silence and sit before the Lord. If you are unable to visit the Blessed Eucharist or take part in Mass, then simply offer the silence that you do have to Him. In this moment reflect upon your need for Him in your life and the ways that you have been waiting for that answer to your prayer, or that need to feel His comfort. Try and recognize through reflection, the ways in which God has truly appeared to you in your life, in your toughest circumstances, in your joys, and potentially in the confusion that you may be facing today. Trust in Him enough to allow His work to manifest in your life void of expectation (as much as you can)...you will most likely come to understand that as we yearn for His voice, He is speaking. As we seek His helping hand, He is already holding ours ever so tightly. As we seek His aid through tribulation, He is already carrying us through it. Lord, today I pray that we become more receptive to receiving You in our lives. Let us sit before You and surrender ourselves fully to the majesty of your works. Forgive us for trying to play Your role and harbor expectations for the ways in which we want You to respond to our call. Let us understand that You have called us, so that we may follow You and trust You. Lord, let us always turn to You in faith, love, and devotion. (C.C.)

Lent. By: C.C.

I came across this wonderful prayer/reflection from St. John Chrysostom, and could not help but be moved. I feel that St. John does a wonderful job of putting the Lenten season into perspective. I hope that it speaks to your heart as it did to mine. May God continue to bless you. (C.C.) The true spirit of Lent lies not in giving up chocolate and soda, but in giving up the things that prevent us from seeing Christ as he truly is: present in the world, present in others.
Advice for Holy and Great Lent from St. John Chrysostom: 
Do you fast? Give me proof of it by your works.If you see a poor man, take pity on him.If you see a friend being honored, do not envy him.Do not let only your mouth fast,but also the eye and the ear and the feet and the hands and all the members of our bodies.Let the hands fast, by being free of avarice.Let the feet fast, by ceasing to run after sin.Let the eyes fast, by disciplining them not to glare at that which is sinful.Let the ear fast, by not listening to evil talk and gossip.Let the mouth fast from foul words and unjust criticism.For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes,but bite and devour our brothers?May He who came to the world to save sinners,strengthen us to complete the fast with humility,have mercy on us and save us. Amen.