“The
glories of the Lord and his might
and
the marvelous deeds he has done.”
(Psalm
78)
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| Genesee Path 2013 |
Everything I was has been absolved by
God's merciful
love. Greater than the love of this
mercy is
the love that wounds in
recognizing
that even while
seemingly
apart from Him, I was always
His.
This
belonging
remained
near to me even as I remained
far from Him.
That we are His is
reason for rejoicing
and inspiration
for
ongoing
conversion
through the Cross. To know our eternal belonging is
the beginning
of joy on earth and the sustenance to endure until
we meet Him
face to face.
If
we are attentive to the inner transformation we experience in turning
from sin to a life of striving to embrace and live according to God’s
precepts, we quickly recognize how absolutely difficult this is if
left to our own esteem, and if we have little love for God.
There
is a necessity to return to the remembrance of God’s goodness, to
reside in it so that we are constantly pulled deeper toward His
reality and will for us, rather than to the baseness of our passions
and sinful inclinations.
To
see ourselves in light of God’s love should inspire our wonder. The
amazing realization that we indeed belong to Him should continue to
motivate our desire to fit the mold of what this belonging implies.
To recall the “marvelous deeds he has done” does not need
to take us solely into Scripture and study, but into our very hearts,
and into reflection of our own life.
This
remembrance should not inspire a dwelling in the muck of sinful
memories or the lowly places where we may have lurked before, but
motivate an honest account of the loving grace that helped out-root
this way of life, and it should never be forgotten. We should be
cautious as to not become scrupulous in this process, but work
instead toward cultivating a deeper gratitude to God for His mercy,
for His love, to remember His faithfulness and the power of
transformative grace.
It
is when we loosely remember the glory that God personally brought us,
the mercy He so lovingly extended to us, that we forget the need for
obedience to Him presently. When we are weak to remember His goodness
to us, then the good we do for Him and the glory we bring to Him
becomes weak also. To recall God’s goodness encourages our
perseverance in the Christian life, and primarily our endurance in
love of what is truly good, and makes more possible our loving of
another. How often we can quickly judge those we deem “sinners”
neglecting our own, and worse forgetting from where we came and our
shared potential for sin.
As
my birthday approaches each year since my conversion and “lightening
bolt” God moment I find myself more reflective than usual about my
past. It is a source of great humility for me, and one of renewing my
understanding and gratitude for God’s unconditional love, and the
power of His mercy.
I
live with the thorn of my past in my side. Not in a scrupulous way,
but it reminds me time and time again of God’s goodness and mercy
in my life. It reminds me of the ongoing journey of conversion. I
used to fear encountering those who knew me before I
began practicing my faith. I was worried about their
judgement and truthfully a bit self absorbed in how “they” would
see me, or remember me. Over time I began to recognize the amazing
way God’s transforming grace spoke through in these
encounters and eventually brought great joy. Hearing “there’s
something so different about you” reminded me of the Someone
greater than all of us that knocked me off my horse! The
memories, not
so glorious have
been healed by our Lord, but every now and then there is the grace of
a thorn prick to remind me Who God is and who I am not. A prick that
corrects my judgement and allows me to recognize that being perfect
is not important to serve God. The prick of the thorn reminds me to
see others through the lens of my own brokenness and not with
partiality.
May we always remember God's mercy to us so that we will renew ourselves in love.
“God
shows no partiality (Acts 10:34). He does not take account of
nobility of birth, length of time in his service, or the number of
our good works. What counts with God is a devout soul’s increased
fervor and more ardent love. He does not consider how you once
behaved, but what you have now begun to be.” – St. Bonaventure
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